Eliza the Arrow was a ruse, a way out for me. Sick to death of the guitar, sick of the band dynamic, I desperately wanted a change. I was 26 and had my world rocked by brand new musical influences and brand new personal influences and I wanted to meld them all together. I was excited about exploring. Looking back and being older, I would do things differently - if I had them to do over. I count Eliza the Arrow as one of my failures. From the beginning, it was cursed. I made so many mistakes. The stress from that time was the impetus for my retreat from the music business. Listening to those recordings now, I’m saddened. I’m sad because I didn’t know what the hell I was doing and I didn’t have the confidence to listen to my intuition. I’m sad because those were good songs that will never see the light of day. I don’t even think the master tracks still exist. Musically and personally, I was extremely confused, but there is something very beautiful and sincere about how that feeling was captured in those songs. Anyway, this is the only piece of music that made it out into the world. The b-side to Toast the Tiger (Double Life, for piano) is still one of my favorite recordings I ever made. Buried in there is a feeling that epitomizes my headspace during that period... and strangely, it comforts me.
Eventually, I did finish a record but was dropped by my label. Eh. I didn’t blame them. I wouldn’t have trusted me to deliver, either.
But it’s alright. I’m still sitting up at night with my headphones on making the music from my gut.